I immediately thought of an Everlasting Gay. Like the Everlasting Gobstopper.

Not even crow’s feet.

I do a facial once a week. I do microdermabrasion once a week. I can’t stress enough that I hate the sun. I’m sorry if that isn’t your experience, but it happens. I’d share a picture of my face, but I’m trying not to completely dox myself.

Eta: And lots of water. Gotta drink lots of water.

See this is another matter. I don’t have wrinkles, but I went gray before I turned 20.

I know you’re claiming it’s not possible but I’m 38, I’ve done mostly night shifts and stayed out of the sun, I moisturize religiously and have since I was a teen, and I don’t smoke and barely drink (ADHD meds don’t play nice with alcohol).

I’m wrinkle-free.

Now compare to my sister, a few years older than me, used to tan growing up by laying out and getting a sunburn, has smoked since we were teens. Insanely wrinkled. Big, deep wrinkles.

This happens. I think the other person was being flippant and dismissive but… it happens!

This needs to go to flippanarchy.

I want to put food in my mouth. It’s okay if the food is shaped in pleasing ways, but there’s nothing ‘pleasing’ to me about tiny assholes or fake poop. Hard. Pass.

Did you see the Spy x Family movie? Why was there a like, 2 minute short in the middle about the God of Poo? The world is strange and inscrutable.

You can use this to blame cat people, but this is just a class of people obsessed with buttholes and poo. I’m remembering a post a while back where someone had made a little dog bun, and if you pressed down on it, chocolate came out of it’s butthole. Nasty.

Edit: Pic is the first thing I got off google typing in ‘dog bun you press that has chocolate come out.’ Obviously this wasn’t the same thing I was talking about but I refuse to search further.