Brave Little Hitachi Wand

He looks untouched by his ordeal, but exactly like a dude who crashes cars

This one gets me every time I see it. I almost woke up my wife giggling

Does someone pay you to be boring? They should.

I’ve personally worked at multiple deli counters. By all accounts I was incredibly bad at it. The first time, on my first day I sliced the tip of my right thumb off down to the nub and shot arterial blood all through the display and got fired immediately. So I flatter myself that I am something of an authority on bad deli counter skills. And I tell you, this shit never happened.

The standard burger bun is brioche (not very nice brioche, granted, but they still call it that)

I mean, this shit never happened. Keeping that in mind, cringe is at an all time high. People are forgetting how to act.

The stories you’ve lived are the ones that seem more meaningful. For a guy, climax is a given, and sometimes the whole point just for maintenance purposes. The wholesome joy of a thing is made impure by ulterior motives. It took me a while to see it from the other side.