This is the face I make when my boss asks if I feel energized after taking a three day weekend.

“Documenting the code base will be your first task for the next month to help show us how well you understand the codebase.”

I’ve never been so insulted. Even if it is accurate.

This would legitimately be nice for cycling in the cold as long as the wool isn’t itchy.

I promised a number of hours under any sane estimate and delivered four days over the estimate. Success.

Okay but do I still get dice after the smoke? I’m willing to take the hit for a discount.

What a crazy headline if you know nothing about these projects.

I wish! It’s more of a loose collection of random business softwares in various states of abandonment. D365 CE is a platform for Sales teams to organize and track leads, quotes, contracts, etc. D365 BC is an ERP platform born out of the ashes of NAV, the core of which Microsoft bought decades ago. D365 F&O, D365 S&M, and others are various flavors of AX, another ERP platform Microsoft bought over a decade ago. They are direct competitors to D365 BC for some reason. None of these softwares can communicate directly with each other, and none allow direct access to the Azure SQL. Occasionally Microsoft will throw a bone towards integration stuff like DualWrite or Synapse or Fabric, but they can never seem to commit and eventually abandon those too.

I would actually be much happier if it was just crummy databases instead of an archipelago of rotting digital islands.

Against every developer’s advice, management has moved our entire stack to Microsoft Dynamics 365. It took over a year of prep, millions in ISV consulting charges, and it performs like trash. Now management is constantly complaining about outages, Microsoft nickles and dimes us for tens of thousands more than the estimates, and they are constantly jerking us around to half-baked tech by removing support for anything that actually works. “Want data out of F&O? We’re killing everything except Synapse Link. You spent months migrating yet it drops data? That’s not surprising since we fired everyone working on it. You should be on Fabric! No, that’s not finished either, but we need to test it on someone!”

I’m very bitter.

But what if we flatten the cake and fry it in butter instead of baking it? Surely that would be healthy, right?

Hang on. It’s a little bland. I’d better pile more butter and liquified sugar on top.